So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
