it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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