This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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