it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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