The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
