Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
