I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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