It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Randomize
