how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
