Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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