Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
