So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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