I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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