Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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