Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
