This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
