What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
