mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
