I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
