margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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