you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
