Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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