first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize