Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I love you. Go after that dick
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
