I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
