were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
