it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
