i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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