you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I love you.
Bad choice
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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