Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
