Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
there is glitter all over my balls
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
