we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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