I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
