Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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