after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
