i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
