ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
home. puking in laundry basket.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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