Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
