today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
