Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize