This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it's like heaven, but drunker
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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