i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize