During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
