dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
