I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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