Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
