M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
