Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize