It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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