im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
