look no pants
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
