He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
