The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
