Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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