i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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