Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize