Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
