dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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