is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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