if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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