hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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