I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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