It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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