Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
